top of page

Down and Dirty Astrology
Let's explore your chart and get down to what really matters

Beth_Pic1 copy.png

Down and Dirty Astrology is a candid, unscripted, dialogue-based astrology reading, where I use wisdom, intuitive artistry, numerology, and even swear words to navigate your birth chart. I will translate the most significant and beneficial particulars into an easy-to-understand, relatable way so that you can apply the knowledge in your everyday life with ease.  No astrological jargon, just a “down and dirty” reading you can easily comprehend and use to empower your life. ​ Understanding your birth chart and numbers, as well as the birth charts and numbers of those that matter to you, can help uncover key elements of yourself. Down and Dirty readings are designed to help calm your mind and to try and provide you relief.  Whether there is a push/pull tension within you, or you have certain feelings and thoughts that lack understanding, or possibly engaging in unconscious behaviors that impact your relationships, a Down and Dirty reading can help your discover your natural gifts and let them shine. ​ Your Down and Dirty reading will be 23 minutes and 45 seconds long. Just enough time to provide you the most valuable elements that lay within your chart so you can easily digest and remember what is important.


Down and Dirty approach where we discuss the nitty gritty, for those with a short attention span (aren’t we all now days?) and cover all the basics in 23 minutes and 45 seconds. This concept was developed to fit within any budget.

Who The "F" am I and Why the "F" am I Here Reading

Who the "F" is This Person and How the "F" do We Get Along (Better) Reading

I "F'ing" Need to Know More Reading

A Happy "F'ing" Birthday Reading

Down an Dirty Planet Movement/Transit Reading

What the "F" is Going On With Me and Why Do I Feel This Way Reading

Gift Cards

Gift A Reading to Someone Special




Down and Dirty Package of 4 separate readings

23 minutes and 45 seconds for $269.00 prepaid

This Package Includes:

4 Separate "What the F&%# Readings...


Down and Dirty Package of 3 separate readings

23 minutes and 45 seconds

for  $196.00 prepaid

This Package Includes:

3 Separate "What the F&%# Readings...


Down and Dirty Package of 2 separate readings

23 minutes and 45 seconds

for  $129.00 prepaid

This Package Includes:

2 Separate "What the F&%# Readings...

I received an astrology reading from Beth expecting it to be entertaining and informational. What happened instead blew my socks off! She is so intuitive and knowledgeable about the relationship between the planets and houses. She immediately picked up very accurate personal information with nuance and care. She then guided my attention to other skills in my chart that I use to navigate through various situations and gave advice on where to focus and where to release. I loved the reading, I love her! If you are looking for profound wisdom that will help you in addressing some deep healing, I highly recommend Beth!

bottom of page